purpose

What’s This All About?

| Marie Griffith

The new website is coming along and we’re almost there. In the meantime, I’ll share the reason I’m doing this in the first place.

Fifteen years ago I was a young mother at the end of another exhausting day, and I wondered, is this it?

I graduated college, worked years at a great company, and quit a promising career to be home with my children to wipe counters, noses and bottoms all day?

Today, I’m sitting in my office with piles of paper scattered across my desk, emails to answer, phone calls to make, and numbers to crunch. And I wonder, is this it?

I know I’m not the only one. You feel the same way. The restlessness, the divine discontent, a desire within your heart to make a difference. We all want to know our lives count.

I was in my 20s when I read John Maxwell’s book “Developing the Leader Within You”. The most important words of the entire book were these:

Sociologists tell us that even the most introverted person will influence 10,000 people in his or her lifetime.

I was astounded. To think that I would impact 10,000 or more people in my lifetime was amazing and humbling.

The 10,000 statistic is a pre-social media number. It’s not a stretch to guess that the most introverted person will impact an exponentially greater number of people in his or her lifetime. Fifty thousand, maybe even 100,000 with Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and all the other ways of connecting with others.

The statistic might have changed but the main point of John Maxwell’s book is a timeless truth: at its most basic, leadership is influence.

In other words, you matter. I matter. And what we do matters. 

That’s why I’m passionate about Live Like it Matters.

A couple of years ago, I issued Live Like It Matters challenges on my blog to remind myself and others of the significance of our day-to-day interactions. The challenges connect our desire to make a difference with our everyday lives. The challenges include:

  • say hello to a stranger
  • write a note to a coworker.
  • give a 40% tip the next time you eat at a restaurant
  • volunteer at a local charity for a day/a week/regularly

The challenges prompt us to look for opportunities to live like it matters right where we are.

Because some of the thousands we’ll reach are the people we meet day in and day out. One of yours may be the tired unnamed waitress that served you lunch on Sunday, a young man in your daughter’s class struggling with his identity, the homeless couple who sit on the curb near the mall you drive past each day, or the flustered UPS guy hauling heavy boxes inside your office building each morning.

We don’t have to be entertainers, politicians, professional athletes or authors to touch thousands. We don’t need Twitter followers, websites, or Facebook pages. It’s those of us in our workplaces, at the schools, and in lines at the grocery store checkouts who make the difference. We can live like it matters at the bank, the park, or the gym.

We live like it matters when we change diapers, wipe snotty noses, and wash dishes. Take heart, tired young parent, take heart. Home is the best place to live like it matters.

When we live like it matters our routines are rich with opportunity, the mundane is meaningful, and our lives turn from ordinary to extraordinary.

My writing, my blog, my website….all of it is about learning to live like it matters and encouraging us in it.

I’ll issue challenges occasionally and continue the regular features, like Monday School and Beauty Break.

I’ll still write just to write, too. I hope it will give you hope, make you ponder a thought you never have before, unlock a memory, see someone in a new way, or make you feel less alone.

Anne Lamott puts it this way, “a writer always tries, I think, to be part of the solution, to understand a little about life and to pass it on”.

This is me passing it on.

When the new website launches, this website will eventually redirect to the new site, but I’m not sure if new posts will show up in the WP reader. I’m still learning about this.

If you want to be sure to catch the new site, new challenges and all my new stuff please leave a comment and tell me you want to subscribe to the new site and I’ll add you to my email followers. 

Photo by Mr Cup / Fabien Barral on Unsplash

How to Be a Moon

| Marie Griffith

I finished Carry Burr’s newest book over the weekend.  The topic of the book is one we’re all familiar with: our need to make a difference and to know we matter. But this isn’t a book about learning how to build your self-esteem, gain a massive following, or improve your life with positive thinking. Instead, Carrye shows us how to embrace our worth, reflect God, and light up our generation.

In fact, it’s in the title of the book. How to Be a Moon: Embrace Your Worth. Reflect God. Light Up Your Generation has a serious message, but Carrye delivers it in an insightful conversational style using the moon as an analogy of how we reflect God.

She grabbed my attention from the start with her self-deprecating humor and relatable stories. The writing is funny and authentic. Sometimes I felt I was sitting across from Carrye in a cozy coffee house sipping our favorites lattes listening to her shenanigans.

She shares her own struggle to embrace her worth and lets us in on what she was thinking and feeling during some of those most intense moments. I appreciate Carrye’s vulnerability as I relate to her embarrassing, and sometimes painful search for significance. She points out many of the lies we tend to believe about our worth. Carrye says, “One of the greatest barriers to experiencing the full life God intends for us is believing that our significance is directly tied into our roles and actions.”

But she doesn’t leave us there. She then reminds us of the truth. “Our worth is never dependent on who WE are but on who GOD is and the way He sees us.” 

The next part of the book helps us understand God’s way of shining. His way is not our way. “Our frenzied desire to find purpose makes us live like multitasking, crazy people, insecure and distracted from God’s heart.” Carrye teaches us how not to be glory grabbers, which, if we’re honest, we tend to be.

She ends the book compelling us to light up our generation by living out God’s purpose right where we are and reminding us of our ultimate goal: Jesus Christ. “May we not be driven to know success or fame, but to know Jesus Himself.” 

Each of the ten chapters has thought provoking questions at the end called “Moon University.” The book is a great tool for a solo study but the benefits are multiplied within a study group. Carry’s hope is by the end of the book, every reader will feel equipped to turn around and help others know their value and identity in God.

Every How to Be a Moon reader will gain a better understanding of reflecting the glory of God and will laugh while doing it.

And that’s always a good thing.

Order the book from Amazon here.

 

 

What’s Next?

| Marie Griffith

Last year, I took my commitment to grow as a communicator to another level when I attended the Speak Up Conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I signed up to attend again this year, but was stressed over the time away from my family and the time off from work. I almost backed out.

I’m thankful I made the trip, because it was exactly what I needed. I didn’t believe it was possible for this year’s Speak Up Conference to be as outstanding as last year’s, but it exceeded my expectations again.

I reconnected with friends, made new ones, and learned a wealth of new information from the remarkable staff of publishing and speaking professionals. I’m summarizing my time at the conference this year differently than I did last year, because this year’s conference was a heart check.

The conference was exactly what I needed because I was reminded of a few things.

First, I was reminded God loves the broken and uses us too.

That’s all He has, because we’re all broken and we all, deep down, want to know our lives matter. We all want the day in and the day out of our lives to mean something, to know it’s not all a waste.

Sometimes, it’s easy to think there’s no way God could or would use the mess of my life for His kingdom purposes. But He has, He does, and He will.

Second, I was reminded why I do this.

God gave me the gift of writing, so I write to share my story, others’ stories, and the story of Jesus and how I’m learning to follow him wholeheartedly. I write to encourage, inspire, and connect. To give hope, to make you ponder a question you’ve never asked before, to make you laugh or cry. To help unlock a memory stored away. I write to help you see someone in a different light, or help you start the journey of forgiving, or put into words what you can’t seem to.

I write to pass it on.

If my experiences teach you something, reveal a truth, make you think about something you’ve never thought about before, or simply make you feel less alone, that is enough.

Lastly, I was reminded of Who this is all for. It’s all because of Him and for Him. When I gave my life to Jesus decades ago, I told Him to take it all. I meant it with all my heart, but I had no idea what I was in for. All I knew was He loved me and I didn’t want a life without Him. I’ve said yes to Jesus again and again since then and I’m saying yes now.

So what’s next? What do I do with all my ideas and dreams?

I’ll seek Him and pray. I’ll keep following Jesus, living my life, and loving the people God gave me. I’ll serve my family, do my job, and look for ways to love others. Prayerfully, with a heart to do it all well. I’ll learn as I go with plenty of mistakes. I’ll pray for opportunities to teach and serve and share my stories. I’ll write and I’ll dream.

And I’m more ready and determined than ever to live like it matters and inspire others to live like it matters.

What about you? What are your dreams and what’s next for you?

 

Photo by Raul Petri on Unsplash

 

 

 

Hope Has Feet

| Marie Griffith

Last week I wrote about making headway. Sometimes the headway is painful. Sometimes it’s slow and feels like no headway at all. I used my running journey as an example because lately my running is terrible. My body hurts. I can’t get my breathing right. And my pace is off. Since then I’ve had two fantastic runs!

I came close to talking myself right out of the first one. It was freezing outside when I woke up before the sun. I dreaded the run already and had more time to dread it while my windshield defrosted. I struggled to be positive on my drive to the park, but I ran my goal and it felt great. And I had another good run today. Maybe I have my running groove back.

I do know this: If I hope to be a runner, I have to run. Or sometimes barely jog. Or maybe I alternate walking and running. But I keep at it. I do the work of running. So what if I go through a season of painful off-paced running? I still do it.

It’s that way with anything we hope for.

If we hope to publish a book one day, we make the time to write. We hope to go to grad school, then we find out what it will take and do it. We want to travel, then we do the work of saving and planning. We hope for a good marriage, then we learn to love our spouses the way we want to be loved, and do the hard thing of loving when it’s not easy. We hope for deep friendships, then let’s be the kind of friends that make it possible. Anything we hope for must be worked for.

Hope doesn’t wait around for something to happen. Hope is not an idle wish for things to get better. Hope has feet. Hope compels us to move forward. Toward our goals and dreams, and the people in our lives. Hope moves us patiently and steadily in the direction of all the good things, all the God things our hearts desire.

Even a long season of waiting can be a hopeful and purposeful time of growth. But hope always looks and moves forward.

What is it you hope for? How are you moving toward it? Have you ever lost hope?

Thank you, Joanna Schley, for the sweet photo.

Open Spaces

| Marie Griffith

I posted this over a year ago but I’m sharing it again because I need the reminder. It’s another Live Like It Matters Challenge and it’s a good one. I have to work hard at this one.

What we do with our time tells the world a lot about us.

How do you spend your time? What does your calendar or planner say about your life?

Last month I didn’t like what my planner said about me. It said I’m busy doing a lot of things. Good things, too. But when I’m not careful about how I plan, I end up doing a lot of additional things and ignoring essential ones.

I have to regularly ask myself: is my life busy or bountiful? Manageable or meaningful? Do I value relationships over routine?

We are afflicted with the idea that we aren’t accomplishing anything unless we are rushing here and there, checking off the items on our “to do” list. But a full calendar doesn’t equal an abundant life. I cannot feel the spaciousness of God’s love when I’ve crammed my calendar full.

When I crowd my calendar with a lot of additional unnecessary activities, I crowd out opportunities for good conversations. I push away the chance of a meaningful encounter. I cannot live on purpose when I’m running around trying to accomplish a lot of things. When I’m rushing from one place to the next I don’t see the people around me. I may see them with my eyes, but not with my heart.

I won’t take the time to smile and say hello to the elderly lady behind me. I won’t notice the young boy in the cereal aisle that’s lost his mother.  I’ll rush through a phone call from my sister.

Because I want to live like it matters and after years of doing it the wrong way, I know that I need time in my home with my family and I need solitude. So I must be wise when planning and making commitments. Since I work full-time most of my days are filled but I can be intentional about my evenings.

I’ve learned that I need plenty of blank spaces in my calendar….some unplanned blocks of time…………time to move at soul-speed. The kind of time when I’m still and my heart is open to any kind of heavenly thought that God might send my way.

The unplanned time can be the most meaningful time spent. The kind that allows for a lengthy unrushed phone call with a long distance friend. Or a cozy movie night at home with my husband because the kids are out of the house unexpectedly. Or a nap on a Sunday afternoon.

We all need open spaces in our calendars.

My Live Like It Matters Challenge to you is to leave some open spaces in your planner. Circle them if you have to but leave them blank. See what it does for you. See what it does for the people around you.

Unplanned time is time well spent.

Because how you spend your time matters. And how you plan or don’t plan matters.

Live like it matters.
Rush

Photo courtesy of Pexels

Disconnect

| Marie Griffith

I originally posted this one a couple of years ago but I’ve made it more challenging this time around.

The purpose of my Live Like it Matters Challenge is to inspire you and me to do something to make a positive difference in the lives of those around us, in the place around us, wherever we are.

The title of this post seems a contradiction then, because after all, we have to connect to make a difference. Every other challenge I’ve issued requires us to connect with others in some way and now my challenge is to disconnect.

The challenge is for you to disconnect from your phone, close your laptop, unplug your mobile devices and step away from any other type of media so you can connect in a real way with real people. The people right around you. At home and work. The ball field, the park and the gym. School, the grocery store, church, and the bank. Put your phone down. Take the ear buds out, put the blue tooth device away, and smile at someone. Even better, speak.

Connect. See. Listen.

I’m as guilty as anyone of being unaware of someone two feet away from me because I’m checking the stats of my blog, or looking at the latest headline.

With all of our connectedness, we’re more disconnected from each other than ever. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat will never fulfill our need for real connection……face to face, heart to heart connection.

The real deal. The kind with voice inflection and eye contact and touch and body language and all the other little nuances of real conversation. No emoji can convey all of that.

This week, for at least 3 hours a day – disconnect. If this seems absolutely impossible to you, then you need to take this challenge even more seriously. During your “disconnected” time, pay attention to those around you wherever you are. Watch and listen. Begin a conversation. Look at the person you’re talking with and give them your undivided attention.

Sometimes the best way to disconnect is to go someplace that has no service. I try to be in a no service zone frequently and one of my favorites is the forest. My youngest daughter and I enjoyed a long hike recently. No service meant we paid attention to each other. We reminisced and finished conversations and learned things about each other. Instead of seeing the latest photo on Instagram, we saw several waterfalls, climbed giant rock formations, and noticed the small ferns growing on top of a rock.

But you don’t have to take a hike to disconnect. Just put the phone down.

Because connecting in a real way matters. Live like it matters.

 

 

 

Thank You

| Marie Griffith

This is the 3rd in a series of challenges I’m issuing in my Live Like it Matters Challenge. Each week you are challenged to do something to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you, in the place around you, wherever you are.

Why?  Because the world needs you and me to see those around us and to connect with them.

For two weeks we were challenged to say hello to strangers. I had some eye-opening encounters that only intensified my need to encourage you to live on purpose….to live like it matters. It also affirmed why I need to be intentional about connecting with others.

This week the challenge will take a bit more thought than saying hello but it’s still simple.

Write a thank you note. Easy, right? I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you’ll send a quick text to your friend thanking her for always listening to you complain about the busyness of your life. Or you’ll send one of those free E-cards.

Nope – that’s not the challenge. The challenge is to write a thank you note with a pen on real paper or in a real card.

Then mail it!

Yes, mail it. Just think how special your friend will feel when she gets that card in the mail. Within the pile of junk mail will be a little card personally addressed to her. She’ll wonder about it, open it, and read it. She’ll feel appreciated and then smile.

Two years ago, on the first round of my Live Like it Matters Challenges, one of my blogging friends, Dawn, surprised me with a handwritten note. I’ll never forget what a delight it was to receive that card in the mail. Just last week I received a sweet note from another friend and I was encouraged when I needed it most.

Do that for someone this week.

Maybe instead of a friend, you’ll write a note to your brother, or your parents, or a teacher that encouraged you in high school. Your spouse, a child, a co-worker, or the guy at the deli-counter that goes the extra mile to help you.

I know what this means for most of us. We have to look up an address or text the person to ask the address or search even further. It’s okay. And you may have to buy stamps. That’s okay, too. They’re sold most anywhere now.

All of this will be totally worth it to the person receiving the thank you. It will be worth it to you, too, because you’ve made someone know they matter. You’ve let someone know they’re valued. You’ve done something good on purpose.

I’d love for you to share in the comment section about your thank you notes- ones you’ve received and/or written.

 

“Feeling good about your life, but not expressing a heartfelt ‘thank you,’ is like wrapping a gift for someone and never giving it to them.”  Chip Conley

Hello Again

| Marie Griffith

Last week I challenged you to say hello to at least 5 strangers. The point of the challenge is for us to become more aware of those around us. Let’s keep saying hello but go further and start a conversation.

I had a couple of interesting encounters but mostly I say “hey” and smile and the other person does the same. Some people don’t say anything but smile as they walk past me. I’ve noticed if I’m waiting in line and say hello a conversation usually takes place. Today I had a really nice talk with an older gentleman as we sat in the waiting room of the dental office. He told me about his wife and praised her biscuit making skills. She makes them for him every morning.

When I took this challenge a couple of years ago, I met Edna at my local library. She’s an older woman with white hair. She told me she can’t type very well.hello

I also met Mr.Grocery Guy. Although I didn’t get his name, I found out he’s working on his degree in finance and he turned down a great intern opportunity to marry the love of his life. He and his love are now divorced after 2 years of marriage. I told him I was sorry and he told me it was okay. He is back on track with his finance career goals. I learned all of this while he was helping me get my groceries to my car. I told him good luck with his endeavors and he said a hearty “thank you”.

The most interesting conversation was with a young mother in the parking lot at the library. I noticed her talking on her cellphone very loudly and I smiled at her. When I came out of the library she stopped me as she was driving out of the parking lot. She apologized for her shouting. She explained that she doesn’t always do that then shared more about her situation. Her husband is out of work and instead of going with her to look for a job as planned, he went with his friends to make a drug run. I put my hand on hers and asked her name, then her husband’s name. I told her I was sorry about what she’s going through and she drove off.

I’m unsure of why she felt like she needed to share that.

Except this: she wants someone to know. She wants to feel less alone in her fight. Her heart is breaking for her children and she needs to know someone cares. She needs hope.

Do these encounters matter? I think so. I know they matter to me. They keep me connected to others and their hurts. While I’m worrying what to fix for dinner the young mother from the library parking lot is worrying for the safety of her children. That shakes me up. It forces me to get out of my comfortable middle class world and get out there and do something…..anything that can help give people hope.

There’s lots of ways to help. Serve meals to the homeless, teach a class to women at a transition home, volunteer at your local schools, tutor kids, mentor young people, visit nursing home residents or those in prison, become certified as foster parents. These are all ways to make a difference.

Or you could buy a house in a deprived neighborhood, fix it up, and live there. I have friends who are doing this. This isn’t a year long project or a temporary deal either. They’ve been there 6 years. They’re living right where the help is needed, building life-giving relationships and making a difference in their neighborhood.

It’s called living on purpose. It’s called living like it matters.

And it can start with hello.

I will issue another challenge soon.  Until then, keep saying hello.

No Small Lives

| Marie Griffith

We’re six days into the New Year and that means the ads you see on your screens and hear on your radio are all about making changes. Improving our diets. Getting fit. Taking control of our finances. Organizing our homes. Changing this and changing that.

Marketers know that with the new year our desire for a new way or a better thing or at least a change in the way we look or feel is heightened. We want our lives to be different …..we want them to be better.

But if we pay close attention to that desire we realize it’s more than that. We want to know there’s a purpose to all of this. We want to know we’re making a difference. We want to know our lives matter.

And they do.

You’re 1 in 7,000,000,000 people on this planet but there’s One who knows your name. He created you (Psalm 139:13). He is the One who gives you breath (Genesis 2:7). And he knows the number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30).

Our lives matter and so do our choices. Who we are at home and at work and the gym. It matters. What we do in the grocery store or the bank and at the salon. It matters.

You don’t have to be an athlete, an entertainer, a politician or author. It’s those of us in our workplaces, at the schools, and in lines at the store checkouts that make the difference.

There are no small lives. “For in him, we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28)

And it’s the day to day living where it counts the most.

Living like it matters is when you choose to smile at the disgruntled guy in line at the express checkout and letting him go ahead of you since he only has 3 items compared to your 14.

It might be calling your parents when you’d rather sit and watch your favorite show. Or fixing a meal for your neighbor. It’s also when you don’t overcrowd your calendar so that you are available to your teenagers just in case they want to talk.

What you think is mundane may be someone’s most meaningful moment. No matter who and where you are, you can live like it matters.

That’s the most important change you can make in 2017.

Photo courtesy of nina lindgren