make a difference

Instead

| Marie Griffith

imageJust because you can doesn’t mean you should.

I say this to my kids all the time.

It’s a reminder for me.

I can eat two bowls of salted caramel gelato.

I can watch endless hours of my favorite shows on Netflix.

I can ignore the tattooed girl in line at the cash register or be rude to the neglectful waiter at the restaurant.

I can let my bad mood ruin the day.

I can skip my workout.

I can gossip about my co-worker.

I can do all those things and a thousand others that seemingly have no effect at all.

Who cares if I watch 8 hours of Netflix or stuff myself with my favorite snack or gossip or stay in a bad mood?

The little things matter more than you know. Your habits matter. Your self-control and your kindness and your patience matters. Your simple acknowledgment of the girl in line at the grocery store matters.

And that’s why I’m challenging you to think beyond the things you can do. This is another one of my Live Like It Matters Challenges.

Think about what would be most helpful. Even good allowable things aren’t necessarily the best things. What’s permissible is not always beneficial. This applies to the choices we make every day.

This kind of thinking and doing helps you and others. Because in the long run, you’ll benefit from skipping the 2nd bowl of ice cream. You’ll reap the rewards of going to gym. And you can save yourself and your co-workers a lot of pain when you shut the gossip down.

Instead, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy one bowl of gelato. Watch only one episode on Netflix every now and then.

I’ll be kind to my co-workers and take every opportunity to encourage them.

I’ll be slow to speak when I’m in a bad mood and I’m going to try really hard to remember how good I feel when my workout is over. I’ll make sure to smile at those around me – even the waiter who never refilled my drink.

Because it matters. The little things we do matter.

Make the wiser choices. Think beyond what you can do and live like it matters.

  But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.    Galatians 5:22-23  NCV

In response to the Daily Post’s prompt
Second Thoughts.

Work

| Marie Griffith

Establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.  Psalm 90:17 NIV

There are days I like my job. Problems are solved. Questions are answered. I get things done. Learn something new. I feel really good about my work.

Then there are other days. The days I don’t like my job. Solutions to the problems aren’t found. The questions can’t be answered and the piles on my desk remind me of my frustrations more than anything.

And that’s only the work I do for income. There is my work at home, yard work, and volunteer work. Then there’s the work I do pursuing my hobbies. Like writing or running. Some of you paint or build tables or plan parties.

Whatever the kind – work is a big chunk of our lives. It would be ideal if we liked all of our work all of the time. But that’s not how it is. Even if you have a great job that you love, there will be good days and bad days. Productive days and not so much days. Days with happy co-workers and days with grumpy ones. Some of my most challenging work days were when I stayed home with my children!

Your hobby work will produce beautiful masterpieces some days, and other days nothing. The 4 mile run is easy some days, other days the fight for breath is almost too much. The housework is tedious, the yard work strenuous.

image
My dad showing the kids how to use a shovel.

Although much of what we face in our work is out of our control, we can choose to do whatever work we are doing excellently and with care.

There is a story of a young mother named Jane. She was in a desperate situation after her husband died suddenly. So desperate that she went down to the river to drown herself. Across the river in a field a young man was plowing with such skill and care that she became absorbed in the sight of it. She stared and stared as the young man worked diligently. Her amazement “turned to thanksgiving, and her thanksgiving to a sense of purpose. She rose, went forth, and lived a long a productive life.”*

A man doing honest work with remarkable care saved Jane’s life.

Do you work like that?

I hope I do. Work is such a significant part of our lives, we should make sure to do it like it matters.

That’s my Live Like It Matters Challenge to you today. Work like it matters.

Think your job doesn’t matter? Too menial? Think no one notices? It matters to someone. It matters more than you know. I was inspired by the work of a garbage man and shared it in The Extra Mile.

No matter the job – you can do it so that it inspires others.

Hairdressers and accountants and drive-thru order takers and pallet makers and bridal dress consultants and process technicians and movie actors and authors and carpenters and lawn care techs and assembly line workers and engineers.

Your work matters. My work matters.

Work like it matters.

“If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets, even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.  He should sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.”                                                                             Martin Luther King, Jr.

*This story is originally told in Os Guinness’ book The Call and retold by Mark Buchanan in The Rest of God.

In response to the Daily Post’s Vigor.

Volunteer

| Marie Griffith

Volunteering is a really good thing and it goes along with my Live Like It Matters Challenge so…………..

My challenge to you is to volunteer. Regularly.

Go to your city’s animal shelter and see if you can help walk the dogs. And maybe you can even do something with the cats if you want to.

Ask the principal of any local school, especially those in less affluent areas, and just see all the projects you can help with. I’ve cleaned out flower beds, painted over graffiti, cleaned and painted bathrooms, fixed broken bathroom stall doors, picked up trash after several football games (football fans are some snack loving, trash making people), and organized and served a free breakfast for a teacher in-service training.

Most hospitals or nursing homes have a volunteer program. Your local library, too. Check them out and see if you can find something to do.

Even if the nursing home doesn’t have a volunteer “program” check with the administrators to see if you can visit the lonely people there. If you have kids, take them with you because lonely old people love young people. I’m fortunate enough to have two daughters that absolutely love old people. Can you sing or play an instrument? Perform for the patients while they’re eating their meals in the dining hall. Can’t carry a tune? Then definitely don’t sing but the ladies like to have their nails painted. And all of them like to play games. Or sit and talk with them. That’s their favorite thing anyway.

Help serve a meal at the local food kitchen. Stuff envelopes at your local campaign office. Clear out some overgrown trails with a team of forest lovers. Organize a trash pick up at your workplace and use the lunch hour to clear the street of garbage.

There are thousands of ways to volunteer.

I am fortunate enough to be part of a local church that does all of these things and more. We seek out opportunities to serve our city and the surrounding communities and we’ve made and will continue to make a significant impact where we live.

It doesn’t matter where or how…..just do something. Volunteer.

Because it matters. Because you matter and he matters and she matters.

Live like it matters.

Cheer

| Marie Griffith

Have you ever been doing something difficult and almost quit but didn’t because someone was cheering you on? I have. A lot.

It could be anything…..your first 5K, a new way of eating, a college course, your marriage, a new business proposal, volunteer work, staying organized, learning how to play the piano.

When you start something new, you’re excited and motivated. You can easily envision the benefits of taking it on.  You see the dream job, the business flourishing, the smiling kids at the community center, and the audience enjoying your rendition of Beethoven’s Fur Elise.

go-team-clipart-go---
from clipartpanda.com

Then it gets hard. The college course requires more time than you thought. Your spouse isn’t living up to your expectations. The healthier way of eating means no more spontaneous Krispy Kreme runs. The bank wants more information about your new business idea. It takes a lot of practice to play the piano well.

The excitement has worn off. You’re tired and stressed. You forget the dream.

But then a friend reminds you of why you started it in the first place. She gives you the vision again. She says, “You’ve got this! Keep at it.”  She cheers you on.

You have the dream back. The tiredness isn’t that bad. You learn to manage your time to minimize stress. You keep practicing or you communicate better with your spouse or you find new healthier sweet treats to enjoy.

You think to yourself, “I CAN do this.”

Now you try it! Cheer someone on. Your frustrated co-worker could really use an encouraging word. Your teenager needs to hear you say you believe in him. Your friend needs to know she’s going to get through this tough season.

Look for opportunities to be a cheerleader.

Help someone see beyond today, beyond the frustrations and the pain.

You will be cheered on in the process.

 

 

Stop the Negativity

| Marie Griffith

This is the 5th week of my Live Like it Matters Challenge. I was going to issue a different challenge today but then this problem came to my attention. Not only did it come to my attention, I realize that I’ve been a participant…..I’ve been part of the problem.

At some time or another, we’ve all done this. We might not be characterized by it, but we’ve all done it.

We complain. We gripe. We gossip.

All of it is negative and none of it does any good. My challenge to all of us is to STOP. Stop the negativity.

Your friend hurt your feelings. You tell your friend, but not the one who hurt your feelings. That’s gossip.  More than likely, it was an innocent misunderstanding that could be easily resolved with a conversation with the right person. The right person is the one that hurt your feelings, not the other friend.

Some things are changing at work. You don’t understand it and you don’t like it. You complain about it to any co-worker that will listen. Every day you think and talk about what you dislike about your work and the company
you work for. The only one you don’t complain to is the one who might be able to explain why things are changing.

Your husband and kids cleaned the house while you worked late. You notice the counter has a few crumbs that weren’t wiped away and the clothes in the dryer haven’t been folded. You gripe about the crumbs and grumble about the unfolded clothes instead of noticing the swept floors, the cleaned mirrors, the empty kitchen sink, and the lit candles.  6794428-free-stop-wallpaper

Stop the complaining. Stop the gossip. And stop the griping. You’re not only bringing yourself down, you’re taking others with you. Stop.

Instead have the right conversation with the right person. Gather the right information from the right person about the changes at work. If you don’t like it and can’t see that you will ever like it, update your resume and find another job. See what good things others are doing even when it’s not the way you would do it.

We must stop being negative. See what you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t. Be thankful. Be positive. You can choose what you think and say.

You can’t make a positive difference in others’ lives if you’re negative.

Choose to live like it matters.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Thanks

| Marie Griffith

This is the 3rd in a series of challenges I am issuing in my Live Like it Matters Challenge. Each week you are challenged to do something to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you, in the place around you, wherever you are.

Why?  Because the world needs you and me to see those around us and to connect with them.

For 2 weeks we were challenged to say hello to strangers.thank+you I had some eye-opening encounters that only intensified my need to encourage you to live on purpose….to live like it matters. It also affirmed why I need to be intentional about connecting with others.

This week the challenge will take a bit more thought than saying hello but it’s still simple.

Write a thank you note. Easy, right?  I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you’ll send a quick text to your friend thanking her for listening to you complain about your job the other day. Or you’ll send one of those free E-cards.

Nope – that’s not the challenge. The challenge is to write a thank you note with a pen on real paper or in a real card. Then………mail it!

Yes, mail it. Just think how special your friend will feel when she gets that card in the mail. Within the pile of junk mail will be a little card personally addressed to her. She’ll wonder about it, open it, and read it. She’ll feel appreciated and then smile.

Maybe instead of a friend, you’ll write a note to your brother, or your parents, or a teacher that encouraged you in high school. Your spouse, a child, a co-worker, or the guy at the deli-counter that goes the extra mile to help you.

I know what this means for most of us. We have to look up an address on WhitePages.com or text the person to ask the address or search even further. It’s okay. And you may have to buy stamps. That’s okay, too. They’re sold most anywhere now.

All of this will be totally worth it to the person receiving the thank you. It will be worth it to you, too, because you’ve made someone know they matter. You’ve let someone know they’re valued. You’ve done something good on purpose.

Who are you sending a thank you note?

“Feeling good about your life, but not expressing a heartfelt ‘thank you,’ is like wrapping a gift for someone and never giving it to them.”  Chip Conley

Keep Saying Hello

| Marie Griffith

Last week I challenged you to say hello to 5 strangers. The point of the challenge is for us to become more aware of those around us. I hope it helped you do just that and I encourage you to continue with it.  hello

I had a couple of interesting encounters but mostly I say “hey” and smile and the other person does the same. Some people don’t say anything but smile as they walk past me. I’ve noticed if I’m waiting in line and say hello a conversation usually takes place.

I met Edna at my local library. She’s an older woman with white hair. She told me she can’t type very well.

I also met Mr.Grocery Guy. Although I didn’t get his name, I found out that he’s working on his degree in finance and he turned down a great intern opportunity to marry the love of his life. He and his love are now divorced after 2 years of marriage. I told him I was sorry and he told me it was okay. He is back on track with his finance career goals. I learned all of this while he was helping me get my groceries to my car. I told him good luck with his endeavors and he said a hearty “thank you”.

The most interesting conversation was with a young mother in the parking lot at the library. I noticed her talking on her cellphone very loudly and I smiled at her. When I came out of the library she stopped me as she was driving out of the parking lot. She apologized for her shouting. She explained that she doesn’t always do that. Then she shared more about her situation. Her husband is out of work and instead of going with her to look for a job like he was supposed to, he went with his friends to make a drug run. I put my hand on hers and asked her name, then her husband’s name. I told her I was sorry about what she’s going through and she drove off.

I’m unsure of why she felt like she needed to tell me all of that.

Except this: she wants someone to know. She wants to feel less alone in her fight. Her heart is breaking for her children and she needs to know someone cares. She needs hope.

Do these encounters matter? I think so. I know they matter to me. They keep me connected to others and their hurts. While I’m worrying what to fix for dinner the young mother from the library parking lot is worrying for the safety of her children. That shakes me up. It forces me to get out of my comfortable middle class world and get out there and do something…..anything that can help give people hope.

There’s lots of ways to help. Serving meals to the homeless, giving to your local church or non-profit that help those in need, volunteering at your local schools, tutoring kids, mentoring younger people, visiting nursing home residents are all ways to make a difference. Or you could buy a house in a deprived neighborhood, fix it up, and live there. I have friends who are doing this. They’re living right where the help is needed, building relationships and making a difference in that neighborhood.

It’s called living on purpose. It’s called living like it matters.

And it can start with hello.

I will issue another challenge soon.  Until then, keep saying hello.

Say Hello

| Marie Griffith

Today, I’m beginning a new feature on my blog called the “Live Like it Matters Challenge“.

Each week I will issue a challenge to you to do something to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you, in the place around you, wherever you are.

This challenge is for me, too.  Because I forget to make sure to be aware of those around me. To see them. To smile or nod.

But I don’t want to forget.  I want to make a difference.  I want to live on purpose.

Unfortunately, I’ve been the one in the forever long check out line at the store, staring blankly at the air, unaware of those around me. Not thinking about the elderly lady behind me or the mom with 2 restless toddlers in her cart whining to go home.  Not smiling, not saying anything. Just there. Missing an opportunity to do something kind or good. Even if it’s just to say, “Hello, how are you?”

FullSizeRender (28)And that’s the challenge this week. SAY HELLO to five strangers. Look them straight in the eyes and say hello. Make sure you’re smiling, too. It may feel strange at first and the stranger may think you’re weird and not respond. That’s fine. You tried.

Try again. Then again. And again. See what happens?

I bet you end up having a nice conversation with one of those strangers this week. I bet you make someone’s day just by smiling and speaking.

Because when you acknowledge someone, you’re telling them they matter.

And they do matter.

And you matter and what you do matters.

So live on purpose.

Live like it matters.  Say hello!

Share with me how the strangers responded.  What was your experience?

Maybe you do this all the time.  I’d love to hear about it.

 

In response to the Daily Post’s Prompt Break the Silence.