The 2017 Roundup

Changes bring…….well, changes. No matter what kind it is, loss is difficult. While my family and I dealt with loss because of a necessary but painful ending, 2017 was a grand year. I wrote Broken about a month before the ending. I see now that I was writing anticipating the difficulty of what would come with it, reminding myself of God’s goodness and faithfulness. I wrote Against the Odds too. Although my parents’ story prompted the post, writing it out strengthened my resolve to do what we knew we had to do. There were hard things in 2017 but through them we’ve experienced abundant blessings, and more clarity and peace than we imagined.

2017 was another year of firsts, lots of growth, and wonderful beginnings. I made new friends and reconnected with long time ones. Some friendships deepened while others faded.

I started the year training with some of the same ladies I trained with in 2016 to run our second Spartan race. A co-worker joined us and she and I formed an even closer friendship. Something special happens when you train together on a regular basis. She helped me through a tough time, let me cry at her desk more than a few times, and listened without judgment. IMG_5273Our group conquered the Spartan Sprint in April and I wrote about it in my post Together Again.

I moved at soul-speed more this year than in recent years and got into a healthy rhythm of life. The kind of unforced rhythms we’re meant to live. I was more attentive to my family, took better care of myself, wrote more, and was able to notice the people and what was happening around me so I could live like it matters.

I volunteered as the Content Director at a non-profit start-up for the first five months of the year, rejoined my local Toastmasters club in June to hone my speaking skills, and am a founding member of a writers group called The Thinklings. This group of writers has been a significant source of encouragement, knowledge, and inspiration. I also took on more responsibility in my job and am enjoying the opportunities and challenges that come with it.

I’ve observed Lent in previous years but this year offered a unique occasion to partner with a friend while reading a Lent devotional called Bread and Wine and writing weekly about our journeys. And So I Began was the beginning of my Lent journey. My heart was especially tender and open during this time. A few of my most raw Lent posts are Take Heart, I’m Like Them, and Done. I feel it when I read them even now.

Another friend presented me with an opportunity to write a story for a magazine. I turned him down, but that was fear talking. Fortunately, I realized it in time to say yes and had my first ever article published in an online magazine. I wrote about how it almost didn’t happen in Face Your Fear. This led to another article being published in the same magazine, only this story was personal. Very personal. I wrote about my journey to that article in Out of The Dark. Both posts have links to the magazine stories if you want to read them.

In July, I went to my first writers conference and wrote about all I learned there in The Take Away. In August, my daughters and I enjoyed viewing the eclipse together, and while I wondered at the moon covering the sun, I was in awe of my daughter’s heart. I wrote about it in Eclipse.

bridal party cute af 1.jpgAs summer neared its end, the wedding planning was in full swing. My oldest daughter was showered with lots of love and gifts from family and friends. I was asked to pray for her at one of the showers and wrote about it in Keeping the Promises. Her October wedding was beautiful. She moved in to her husband’s house and her brother moved back in to ours. Our son is home, for now, from Colorado and working toward his next goal.IMG_6095.jpg

My youngest daughter inspired my most viewed post of 2017 and ever. It’s called Look What You Made Me Do. I connected Taylor Swift’s song with my daughter’s experience at a new high school and lots of people related.

I began a new feature on my blog called Monday School in the fall. It was a challenge at times but I didn’t miss a Monday and I’m going to continue my Monday School posts into 2018.

The fall also brought the most challenging race I’ve run to date. With six other ladies, I ran a Spartan Super near Atlanta, Georgia. It was 9.4 miles of hard. Then in December, six of us joined the Spartan Trifecta club by completing the 13.5 mile Beast in Tampa, Florida. I wrote about the anticipation of accomplishing the Trifecta in Making It Happen. Though the Beast was longer and colder, the Super had the hills that killed.

What a way to end the year! IMG_5897-COLLAGE

2018 is full of possibilities. I will do my best work at my job. We will continue meeting in homes for church in 2018 and I want to teach a ladies Bible study this year. I’ll attend another writers conference and hope to collaborate on a few projects with other writers and artists. I will continue to run and now I can see the possibility of a half marathon. Several friends are interested in doing a Spartan race and I may lead them to a 2018 Spartan Trifecta. It’s a good way to keep me training.

But of all the possibilities in 2018…….none is better than love. So with God’s help, I will love my family and friends better and better. I will notice and be present with the people around me. And I won’t waste an opportunity to live like it matters.

“So let us love, dear love, like as we ought, 
Love is the lesson which the Lord us taught.”            

Edmund Spenser – from Amoretti LXVIII: Most Glorious Lord of Life

featured photo by Joanna Schley from her Doors of Decatur series

Finally

Are We Missing It?

I’m barely getting this Monday School posted today but this has been rolling around in my head since day 4 of my Advent devotional and I wanted to share my thoughts. For more information on Monday School go here.

The Bible reading for day 4 was Matthew 25:31-46. I never thought of the passage as one for Advent, but the devotional did what was intended. It caused me to think over and over again about what Jesus said when telling of his next coming.

“….the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

Then to the others he says “Away with you…..for I was hungry and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink……”

The didn’ts go on and on. You didn’t invite me. You didn’t clothe me. You didn’t visit me. Then the ones that didn’t……..ask the Lord, “When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?”

Don’t miss this! The ones that were feeding and caring and helping did not realize they were doing it for the King, and the others…the ones that were not feeding or caring or helping, wondered when they had ever seen him hungry or naked or sick and not helped him.

Are we missing it too? Do we see the hungry and thirsty ones? Are we like the priest and the Levite in the parable of the Good Samaritan, on our way to serve God, yet ignoring the needy ones near us? Do we rush to our scheduled times of serving and miss the least of these living in our own neighborhoods? Are we so tired from our structured self-righteousness that we miss the opportunity to care for a co-worker? Are our calendars crammed so full of religious responsibilities we can’t give our full attention to the people God gave us in our families?

Jesus made it clear that those who do a lot of good things in His name do not necessarily know Him.

“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you……”
        Matthew 7:21-23  

Father, forgive us for missing it. Forgive us for choosing the checklist of religious activities over seeking You wholeheartedly. Help us see Father, then help us love.

 

Photo by Nina Strehl on Unsplash

 

The Heart of the Matter

I continued my reading in Numbers last week so that’s where my Monday School comes from today. See the Monday School page to find out more.

Moses’ authority was challenged by his own brother and sister in Chapter 12 and Chapters 13 through 14 recounts more complaining and an all out rebellion of the people of God.

God told Moses to send spies to check out the good land of Canaan which He was giving them. Moses wanted to know a few things about the Promised Land. What was the land like? How many people are there and are they strong or weak? Are there trees on the land?

Besides confirming all the good things about the land, I’m certain Moses expected to receive information to help him and the other leaders develop a strategy to occupy it.

The report from the spies began well. They admitted the land flowed with milk and honey, but the report focused on the strong people who lived there and the large fortified cities. Caleb spoke up and reassured the people the land could be taken but this only made the other spies exaggerate their report even more. Of the people who inhabited the land the other spies said, “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”  

Again, Caleb with Joshua, pleaded with the people:

The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” Numbers 14:7-9   

The people were so fearful……..so angry at the leaders for bringing them out of Egypt…………..so convinced that what God promised wasn’t true………hysteria took over and they wanted to murder Caleb and Joshua.

Ten of the twelve spies came back from the 40 day assignment convinced there was no way the land could be taken. The other two were more certain than ever of God’s promises. It makes me wonder. Did the spies stay together on their undercover journey? Or did they separate into smaller groups to explore the land? What did the spies talk about during all those late night dinners around the campfire? Did each of them know what the others thought? What did Joshua and Caleb see that the other ten didn’t?

God pointed out the difference between Caleb and Joshua and the rest. First in Numbers 14 then in chapter 32:

“But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.”    Verse 24

‘Because they have not followed me wholeheartedly, not one of those who were twenty years old or more when they came up out of Egypt will see the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob— not one except Caleb and Joshua, for they followed the Lord wholeheartedly.’    Verses 11-12

Caleb and Joshua saw the same land and the same people as the other spies, but their hearts made them see with eyes of faith.

The ten spies saw the fortified cities. Caleb and Joshua saw the land God promised His people. The ten saw how big the people were and saw themselves as grasshoppers. Caleb and Joshua remembered the promises, remembered the miracles and deliverance, and saw themselves as God’s chosen ones.

Caleb and Joshua followed God wholeheartedly. It’s always about the heart.

Long after Caleb and Joshua, when the teachers of the law asked Jesus which commandment was the most important – this was his answer:

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  Mark 12:30 ESV

I like this version of the verse because it sounds like a promise too.

Maybe we love more and more wholeheartedly as we continue our journeys and grow in the knowledge of who He is. Maybe we love God in proportion to our understanding of His love for us…….and our faith grows as our love grows.

Then let us ask for understanding.

 

 

Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash

 

Splash

I read one of my favorite Bible passages yesterday and it was like I was reading it for the first time. Maybe it’s because I’m reading a different version but I noticed some words I hadn’t before. The passage is a prayer for the church at Ephesus……a prayer for strength and insight.

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3:14-19

This is beautiful. All of it. But these are the words that jumped out at me:

….and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

What is the fullness of God? The phrase is seen again in Colossians 1:19 referring to Jesus: “for in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.” It’s everything of God. His wisdom, Spirit, light, love, power and glory.

Amazing! We can be filled with the fullness of God. That’s what Paul prayed for the church then and what we can pray for one another now.

But how are we filled with all the fullness of God?

The love of Christ. To be rooted in it. Grounded in it. To comprehend it and know it.

This is a supernatural knowing that surpasses knowledge and God is the One who gives it. But we can be willing seekers. We can humbly ask Him to give us eyes to see and ears to hear. We can resist the idea that we know all we need to know and instead ask for clean hearts and greater faith and the strength to comprehend.

Then when we’re filled we will pour out. We’ll be filled again and again as we follow and learn, and pour out again and again. Even better than that.

We’ll splash onto others a life-giving splash because that’s what God’s love does.

 

This is the most recent session of Monday School, the newest feature on my blog. You can find out what Monday School is all about here.

Photo by Amritanshu Sikdar on Unsplash

 

 

A Wedding

This week’s Monday School comes from the Gospel of John chapter 2 verses 1-12. Read more about Monday School here.

John tells the story about a wedding at Cana in Galilee. The Bible says Mary, the mother of Jesus, was there and that Jesus and his disciples were invited too. But there was a problem at the wedding.

They ran out of wine.

Mary is remarkably concerned about the wine situation because I believe she was more than a guest at this wedding. Perhaps she was close to the bride and groom and their families. Maybe she helped prepare for the wedding…..may have planned and cooked the feast for it. Maybe she and others gathered the flowers, set the places at the tables and made sure everything was just so. Then, in the middle of the festivities, the wine was gone.

Mary did the only thing she knew to do. She told Jesus. Then told the servants to do whatever Jesus said.

I think I know what Mary felt during the wedding at Cana. My oldest daughter was married this weekend. We prepared and worked to make everything just so and we wanted everything to be as wonderful as we planned it to be. Those of us who helped were remarkably aware of everything – the weather, the flowers and music, the food, drinks, and the cake. We wanted the bride and groom to have no worries. We wanted the guests to have no need or distractions and to fully enjoy the celebration of two lives becoming one. To take in the music played and the promises made. To understand why the bride and groom chose You’re Beautiful by Phil Wickham as one of their wedding songs. To grasp the meaning of the entire festivity.

Because a wedding is no small thing.

As Frederick Buechner puts it, “…every wedding is a dream, and every word that is spoken there means more than it says, and every gesture – the clasping of hands, the giving of rings – is rich with mystery. Part of the mystery is that Christ is there as he was in Cana once, and the joy of a wedding, and maybe even sometimes the tears, are a miracle that he works.”

We enjoyed the words and the gestures and we felt the love and blessings. We laughed and cried and danced. We celebrated the miracle of two becoming one and Jesus was with us at our wedding celebration at Glenn Hill.

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing….
You’re beautiful

by Phil Wickham

Doctor Doctor

I have this thing about going to the doctor. I don’t like it.

I don’t like yearly check ups, eye exams, or flu shots……even when I’m sick…….I resist going to the doctor. I’ll ignore my symptoms until I can’t, then I’ll plan my own course of treatment, try an essential oil or a handful of vitamins and as a last resort, buy the over-the-counter stuff. If all of that doesn’t work, I’ll finally make the call for an appointment to see the doctor.

The doctor can see what I can’t see. He has more knowledge about what ails me and has access to what can help me – usually a prescription for medicine.

Jesus talks about doctors in the Gospel of Luke chapter 5:27-32.

Levi, who is better known as Matthew, is thrilled at his new life away from tax collecting. To celebrate, Matthew threw a feast for Jesus. Apparently, Matthew invited a lot of his friends to the party. Maybe because he wanted them to meet Jesus, or maybe because he thought the more the merrier. Probably both.

But the religious leaders were upset that Jesus was eating with “those kind” of people and asked Jesus’ disciples why he had anything to do with them. Jesus answered them.

“Healthy people don’t need a doctor, only the sick.”

The King James Version of the Bible uses the word whole instead of healthy.

“They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick.”

Jesus continues, “I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” Verse 32 in the NLT.

Because of their observance of the law the Pharisees deemed themselves whole. They were blind to their spiritual sickness therefore had no need for the Sovereign Physician of souls.

The same story in Matthew 9 verses 9-13 has an additional statement. Jesus told the Pharisees to “Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’

The Pharisees missed the point. Loving and caring for others is more important to God than religious rituals.

Before we judge the Pharisees and the teachers of the law we should ask ourselves if we have any of the same attitudes. Do we think we’re good? Do we tend to think “those people” need to get it together? We all have our own definition of “those people”. Corrupt politicians, thugs, meth heads, strippers, racists or murderers. Those who rule the system and the ones who abuse it. The ones who are left out and the ones who leave them out. Those we think Jesus would never dine with. Those we think are too far gone.

Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy people who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to invite good people but sinners to change their hearts and lives.”  5:32 NCV

 

Photo courtesy of Pexels.

 
Theory

They Won

This is the kind of story that never gets old.

Daddy knew he needed to make a change.

To get better.

To save his life and ours.

He moved all of us to a whole new life in another state. Far away from the drinking binges and the fighting and the rehab centers that didn’t work. Far away from what happened and what was……..to something good and better.

The convoy to our fresh start rolled out one early summer morning in 1982. As a preteen I was probably less annoyed than most kids my age would have been. I knew I’d miss my friends but I was ready for something better. The hope of a calmer life, a different house, and a new school filled my heart. Moving day was a good day.

My sisters and I weren’t the only ones at a new school. Part of Dad’s new life included seminary and he began the night courses eagerly. He took careful notes in class and squeezed study time in when he could.

I can’t remember the day or the month or the season, but before the end of the first year Dad started drinking again.

Mom was devastated. She never told me that, but I know. Dad was too. When you’re a kid you have no idea what your parents are going through. Then you grow up and endure your own heartaches and one day, without meaning to, you feel the pain of your mom’s fear or the torment of your dad’s struggle with alcohol.

For the next decade Daddy lost the battle with alcohol over and over and over again.

Ten years.

Ten more years of the chaos and violence. Ten more years of tears and sorrow. Regretting the move, resenting the losses. Ten more years of emergency room visits and halfway houses. Ten more years of job changes and the financial strain and moving from house to house.

I’m sure Daddy remembered the day he took his last drink. He may have counted the days but he never told us. After about a year of him not drinking……we realized he wasn’t drinking. Then it was two years, then five. Ten years sober, then 20 years.

Daddy was sober for almost 23 years when he passed away in 2014.

Twenty three years of healing and restored relationships. Twenty three years of good memories. Twenty three years of the sweetest grace.

They won. Daddy and Mom pressed through and marched on. They fought the good fight and fought with each other. They messed up but moved forward. There were days they wanted to but they didn’t give up.

The long view is what got them through. The good days helped them see beyond the bad ones. When everything was falling apart they believed it could all come together. Love does that. It sees longer and deeper and wider. So my parents kept going. One day at a time. And they won.

The last time Daddy and Mom were face to face and held each others’ hands they weren’t thinking of the hard years. They were thankful for the moment and all the years that got them there.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash.

Restart

Grace In Vain

Today is another Monday with a new verse rolling around in my head.

I was in 2 Corinthians 6 and although I continued to read the entire chapter, I couldn’t get the last part of verse one out of my head.

Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain.  2 Corinthians 6:1

Apparently we can receive the grace of God in vain and Paul thought the church at Corinth was in danger of it somehow. But what does that mean?

To do something in vain means to do it with no effect………without any useful result…….for no purpose. Like when you work really hard to lose 10 pounds but the scale numbers stay the same. Or campaigning for your favorite candidate only for them to lose the election. The work of exercising and eating right or the hours stuffing envelopes at campaign headquarters feel like a waste. No use at all.

Paul says that God’s grace to him was not in vain in 1 Corinthians 15:10: But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

Paul explains that God’s grace to him was not in vain by reminding the church of his hard work. Paul doesn’t take credit for his work though. He points to God’s grace.

Grace was received. Work was done. Paul labored in love because of God’s grace, NOT for God’s grace. There’s a vast difference between because and for. One is relationship, the other religion. One is a matter of the heart, the other is a list of dos and don’ts. One makes us humble, the other makes us proud.

The more Paul worked…..the more good he did, the less he thought of himself and the more he glorified God. Because that’s what grace does.

One way to receive God’s grace in vain is to make it all about me. To live my life, my way. Build my kingdom instead of God’s. Work for my comfort and safety without considering the comfort and safety of others.

Grace in vain makes me forget who I was before grace.

Grace in vain secretly, or maybe not so secretly, thinks I deserve the grace because of my knowledge, my faith, my leadership or accomplishments.

Grace in vain takes pride in reaching my next level. Takes pride in checking off the “good Christian” to do list.

Grace in vain makes all the work for nothing. The work is still done but without the intended results. Hardened hearts instead of soft ones. Less compassion, more judgment. Less peace, more fear. More about me. Less about God.

But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace. Romans 11:6

But grace, the kind that is not received in vain, remembers that God is the Grace Giver and we are nothing but what He makes us. This kind of grace makes us humble but gives us confidence. We grow and flourish in this grace. This grace flows through our love for God and for others.

“to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.                    Ephesians 1:6

Unfortunately, I don’t live in God’s grace perfectly. Thankfully, His grace covers that too.

Are there any areas in your life you aren’t acting on the grace you’ve received?

 

 

Photo by Sven Gauditz on Unsplash

 

 

 

Not A Lost Cause

This is another story for Monday School. For more on Monday School go here.

About a month ago, I read the story of the man among the tombs in Mark 5:1-20. My heart is encouraged again and again as I think about it.

The same story in Luke 8:26-39 tells us for a long time the man didn’t wear clothes or live in a house. He lived among the dead. In isolation. Away from those he knew. We’re not told how the man ended up naked and alone in the tombs.

It doesn’t matter.

We know he was desperate and in pain. We know he wasn’t really living. Not how an image bearer of God should live. I can guess that his friends and family had given up hope for him. According to the story, some had tried to help by taking him away from the tombs, keeping guard and binding him but eventually “no one had the strength to subdue him.” The story doesn’t tell us how long “a long time” is.

However long was too long.

Without meaning to maybe his friends and family forgot who he was before he lived naked among the tombs. Maybe the weariness of trying to help over and over was too much. Maybe the waiting and the disappointment of the man returning to the tombs again and again hardened their hearts and they drifted away. Or worse, maybe they lost sight of his humanity and they condemned him for his bad choices or lack of faith. Maybe they even wrote him off as a lost cause. And so the man stayed among the tombs.

“Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.” (Mark 5:5) 

Then the man sees Jesus. Although the man falls at the feet of Jesus, the story never tells us the man asked to be healed. But Jesus healed him and the people noticed.

When Jesus was leaving, the man begged to go with him. We’re not told why. Did he simply want to be with the One who saved him? Was he afraid he’d go back to the tombs? Was he embarrassed to see his family and friends? Possibly for all of those reasons the man wanted to go with Jesus, but Jesus didn’t allow it. Instead Jesus told the man to go back to his friends and tell them what happened. Go back to the ones who lost hope. Go back to the ones who forgot. Go back to the ones who tried to help over and over.

And he did. The man went home and all around the city, and he proclaimed how much Jesus did for him and everyone marveled.

Because God changing us is never just for us.

God loves the man among the tombs and He loves the ones who gave up on the man among the tombs.

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy………”
       Titus 3:4-5a

 

Photo by John Gibbons on Unsplash