kindness

Courage Giver

| Marie Griffith

I received the best kind of text this morning. A spontaneous one from a friend who thought about me, then texted me to let me know she thought about me. That would have been enough to make me smile but she sent a powerful message of encouragement and some verses for me to think about throughout the week.

Her encouragement turned a manic Monday into a happy one.

Another friend and I are wrapping up our study of Ephesians this week, so I was reading the final verses of chapter 6. Paul ends the letter telling the believers at Ephesus he is sending Tychicus to them.

Ever heard of Tychicus? I’ve read his name several times, but I skimmed right over it without a second thought. His name is found in Acts and other letters and it’s obvious Tychicus was close with Paul and an important part of the ministry. Paul called him a beloved brother and a faithful minister and sent the man to update them on what’s happening with everything. What makes me wonder about this guy, Tychicus, is what Paul says about why he is sending him.

I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts.   Ephesians 6:22

He says the exact same thing in Colossians 4:7-8. He sent Tychicus to encourage their hearts.

Paul knew what it was to be discouraged and feel weighed down with doubt and worry. He knew the pain of loneliness and fear and remembered how words of truth and encouragement were vital during his darkest seasons.

When Paul couldn’t do it himself, he sent Tychicus to give courage to weary hearts. To strengthen weakened faith. To uplift downcast faces. To give hope and light and love.

We are told to encourage one another too. (2 Corinthians 13:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:11) And do it daily, as long as it’s called today. (Hebrews 3:13)

Because every one of us needs courage.

We don’t know what each person is facing each day, but we can guess from personal experience it’s hard a lot of times. A kind word from a friend can bring a moment of sweetness in the most terrible day. Someone cheering us on can give us the extra push we need to keep at it. A note reminding us of God’s promises can lift us from sadness and help us keep believing the promises.

My friend sent a text. Paul sent Tychicus. Both were courage givers and God only knows what good happened because hearts were encouraged.

 

For more information about Monday School, visit the Monday School page.

 

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

 

In a Nutshell

| Marie Griffith

This Monday School post is short and sweet. It’s been one of those Mondays. A really full but good one. I almost waited to post but you can’t post Monday School on Tuesday. You just can’t.

Yesterday in home church we talked about the Golden Rule. We all know it: Do to others what you would have them do to you. Jesus said this right after he talked about fathers giving stones instead of bread and snakes instead of fish in Matthew 7.

I like this version of it from the TLB:

“Do for others what you want them to do for you. This is the teaching of the laws of Moses in a nutshell.”  Matthew 7:12

And especially this one in The Message:

“Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get.”   Matthew 7:12

We know it but we don’t always practice it. It’s easy to know what we want others to do for us, but it’s hard to do those things for others. Everyday we deal with people not practicing the Golden Rule. And everyday people deal with me not going by this simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior.

But when I see it or experience it or even practice it myself……something happens. Even if only for that moment, I feel better. I’m hopeful. I’m happy and thankful. And the other person probably feels the same way.

Let’s be more aware of these opportunities to “grab the initiative” and do for others what we would want them to do for us. Sometimes it’s big things but most of the time it’s the small acts that make a big difference.

 

Photo by Caleb Martin on Unsplash

Look What You Made Me Do

| Marie Griffith

Like millions of others, my daughters anticipated the new song by Taylor Swift and they weren’t disappointed. While most critics have bashed Look What You Made Me Do, millions of fans have helped Swift break streaming, download, and video view records and it’s predicted the song will hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart next month.

I like the song. Maybe it’s easy for me to like it because my girls literally grew up with Taylor Swift. Every single one of her songs has been played over and over and over in our house, on the computer, in the car, or on their phones. Wherever they could be played, TS songs were played. So in a way, I grew up as a mom with Taylor Swift. From Teardrops on My Guitar to Look What You Made Me Do is a lot of growing.

As I listen to Look What You Made Me Do, I’m reminded of a time as a young woman when I had the same attitude as the one played out in the song. After some heartbreaks I vowed I would never be hurt again. I didn’t trust others and kept everyone at arm’s length. I was strong and independent and ready to take on the world.

Like Taylor, “I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time.” Only my heart became harder and harder because with every hurt a wall was built around my heart. Another hurt, another wall. Walls of sarcasm and suspicion. Walls of bitterness, pride and stony ambition.

But the thing about walls around our hearts is they don’t work. Not if we want love and joy and peace. Walls keep these away.

So what do I tell my young daughter when she’s betrayed by a friend? Or when someone calls her a name? What do I do when I’m lied to? Or ignored? Or uninvited?

I can tell my daughter to treat those who mistreated her the same way. I can tell her to ignore them and never talk to them again. I can snub those who ignore me and unfriend those who no longer welcome me.

But there is a better way. I’ll be kind to them. I’ll smile and speak when I see them. And I’ll forgive them. I’ll tell my daughters to do the same. Forgiveness may be a process and one I have to work hard at but it’s the only way to do it if I want to love and live well.

And I will tell my daughters to fight to keep their hearts soft. “Become wiser. Don’t give in to what you want to do at first. Don’t let this song or all the others like it become the anthem of your lives. Don’t give in to how the world says to treat those who hurt you. Instead, be kind and brave . And forgive them.”

 Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.     Proverbs 4:23 NIV

While lessons learned should make us wiser, they shouldn’t make us harder. Hearts are meant to be soft and without walls. That’s the only way we learn to love. That’s how we give it and get it. That’s how we learn to trust. That’s how we learn to forgive and become compassionate and kind.

Maybe smarter in the nick of time. But not harder.

Photo by Gabriele Diwald on Unsplash

Keeping the Promises

| Marie Griffith

Laughter floated in the air as food was prepared and decorations set. Flowers filled the entry ways, overflowed from vases on the mantel, tables and all around our home. Friends and family gathered yesterday to shower my daughter with blessings as she prepares to enter this new season of life and celebrate the upcoming marriage to her fiance. What a joyous time it was. We saw faces we hadn’t seen in years. Some came from far away, others from down the road. My sweet aunt who was married to her love for 74 years was there. Some newly marrieds and some who will be someday came too.

Along with lots of wonderful gifts for her home, our friends and family brought their love and blessings with them. My friend told us a beautiful story and shared some things she wish she’d known as a young bride. Then I prayed for my daughter.

It didn’t take long for me to settle on what to pray for her in her marriage. Her father and I celebrated 23 years of marriage the day before her shower so I was thinking of our story as I was thinking about how to pray.

Twenty three years ago in a small wedding chapel in Tennessee we vowed to love each other.

We promised to love each other when times were good and when they weren’t. To love each other in times of sickness and wellness, during feast or famine, and highs and lows.

We laugh now at the kids we were then because we thought we had it figured out. Now we know we still don’t have it figured out.

But we’re learning. We’re growing together, loving each other, and getting better and better at it. We’re keeping the promises.

We’ve experienced abundant joy and faced tragedy; enjoyed many blessings and walked through painful seasons. And we’ve done it for 23 years.

We’re better because of each other and for each other.

I began the prayer for my daughter with Ephesians 4:32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

It’s not the typical marriage verse but I know from 23 years that when my husband and I are practicing this, we’re doing well. When we’re not following it, things aren’t as good as they can be.

I prayed for her the same things I ask for myself:

“Father, thank You that we can come to You with confidence and know You hear us. Thank You for our friends and family gathered here to celebrate our daughter’s life. And thank You for the divine gift of marriage.

Father, You promise to give us all we need to do what You’ve called us to do. Draw her near to You. May she look to You for guidance and wisdom as she grows into the woman You’ve called her to be.

You call us to kind actions and words but Your desire is not that we just do kind acts but that our hearts are tender which leads to kindness. God, keep her heart tender. Let her eyes be fixed on You and may she remember Your kindness and extravagant love toward her.

Give her a wholehearted love for You, Father. Because as her love for You grows, so will the love for her husband.”

And we all said, “Amen.”

“Love is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God.”   C.S. Lewis

photo by Markie Pearson Photography

Extravagant

I’m Like Them

| Marie Griffith

“We misunderstand God altogether if we think He deals coarsely with our souls.”
Henry Drummond

My journey through Lent this week has given me new thoughts on old stories. The stories were part of the daily devotions from Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. I revisited the story of Jesus driving the merchants out of the temple for buying and selling there.

Am I like the merchants?

I reread the story of Thomas who declared that “unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.” John 20:25

Am I like Thomas?

The story of Peter is another one. Not only did Peter fall asleep in the garden when Jesus asked he and his other friends to keep watch but he denied he knew him. Peter turned his back on the very One he confessed as the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Am I like Peter?

Yes. I’m like them.

How many times have I tried trading with God….tried to get something from God in exchange for my faith or good deeds? “Look what I’m doing God. I’m serving and giving and studying. I’m working hard for You. Now bless me. Make my life comfortable and give me what I want.”

I’ve been the one not believing….not trusting until I can see. “Show me Lord, then I’ll trust You.”

My denial doesn’t look the same as Peter’s but I’ve turned my back on the One who loves me with an everlasting love. By not following Him. By not loving others. By withholding forgiveness. By causing others to feel less than.

But God doesn’t deal coarsely with our souls.

God is kind when He reminds me that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”  Ephesians 2:8-9

God is patient when I have doubts and fears. As Jesus did for Thomas, in His mercy He will give me the “grace of interior vision, the gift of the opening of the heart, and of its surrender.”

God is tender with me when I’ve turned my back. It was Jesus who turned to look at Peter as he was denying him for the third time. (Luke 22:61) There wasn’t judgment in Jesus’ eyes. There was love.

And I am thankful for His kindness.

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”  Romans 2:4

For more thoughts on our Lenten journey visit my friend, Joy, at her website A Life-Giving Moment.

Confess

Hello

| Marie Griffith

I’m bringing back a feature of my blog that I started almost two years ago called the “Live Like it Matters Challenge“. Some of the posts, like this one, will be repeat challenges. Others will be new ones. Either way you will have an opportunity to Live Like it Matters.

Each week or so I will issue a challenge to you to do something to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you, in the place around you, wherever you are.

This challenge is for me, too.  Because I forget to make sure to be aware of those around me. To see them. To smile or nod.

But I don’t want to forget.  I want to make a difference.  I want to live on purpose.

Unfortunately, I’ve been the one in the forever long check out line at the store, staring blankly at the air, lost in my own thoughts. Not thinking about the elderly lady behind me or the mom with 2 restless toddlers in her cart whining to go home. Not smiling. Not saying anything. Just there. Missing an opportunity to do something kind or good. Even if it’s just to say, “Hello, how are you?”  speech-bubbles-1379252_1920

And that’s the challenge this week. SAY HELLO to at least five strangers. Look them straight in the eyes and say hello. Make sure you’re smiling, too. It may feel strange at first and the stranger may think you’re weird and not respond. That’s fine. You tried.

Try again. Then again. And again. See what happens?

I bet you end up having a nice conversation with one of those strangers this week. I bet you make someone’s day just by smiling and speaking.

Because when you acknowledge someone, you’re telling them they matter.

And they do matter.

And you matter and what you do matters.

So live on purpose.

Live like it matters.  Say hello!

Share with me how the strangers responded.  What was your experience?

Maybe you do this all the time.  I’d love to hear about it.

No Small Lives

| Marie Griffith

We’re six days into the New Year and that means the ads you see on your screens and hear on your radio are all about making changes. Improving our diets. Getting fit. Taking control of our finances. Organizing our homes. Changing this and changing that.

Marketers know that with the new year our desire for a new way or a better thing or at least a change in the way we look or feel is heightened. We want our lives to be different …..we want them to be better.

But if we pay close attention to that desire we realize it’s more than that. We want to know there’s a purpose to all of this. We want to know we’re making a difference. We want to know our lives matter.

And they do.

You’re 1 in 7,000,000,000 people on this planet but there’s One who knows your name. He created you (Psalm 139:13). He is the One who gives you breath (Genesis 2:7). And he knows the number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30).

Our lives matter and so do our choices. Who we are at home and at work and the gym. It matters. What we do in the grocery store or the bank and at the salon. It matters.

You don’t have to be an athlete, an entertainer, a politician or author. It’s those of us in our workplaces, at the schools, and in lines at the store checkouts that make the difference.

There are no small lives. “For in him, we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28)

And it’s the day to day living where it counts the most.

Living like it matters is when you choose to smile at the disgruntled guy in line at the express checkout and letting him go ahead of you since he only has 3 items compared to your 14.

It might be calling your parents when you’d rather sit and watch your favorite show. Or fixing a meal for your neighbor. It’s also when you don’t overcrowd your calendar so that you are available to your teenagers just in case they want to talk.

What you think is mundane may be someone’s most meaningful moment. No matter who and where you are, you can live like it matters.

That’s the most important change you can make in 2017.

Photo courtesy of nina lindgren

Welcome

| Marie Griffith

I have a welcome mat on my front porch. Most of us do. We like to think we’re welcoming people.

But are we? Really?

I’m sometimes guilty of welcoming only those I feel comfortable welcoming. Or those that are most like me. I sometimes shy away from having those that are very different from me into my home.

I have to be intentional about inviting all kinds into my home. Into my conversation. Into my world.

Unfortunately,I get so comfortable in my space. In my home with my people. In the office with my co-workers. And within my circle of friends.

My comfort is not what God had in mind when he inspired Paul to write to the Romans: Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (15:7)

Welcome. Invite. Receive. Accept.

Joyfully.

The poor should invite the rich. And the rich the poor. The strong receive the weak and the weak the strong.

I should receive all kinds……..different races and backgrounds and educations and beliefs.

Jesus welcomed all. He asks us to do the same.

So reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory. Jesus did it; now you do it!
Romans 15:7 (MSG)

Salty

| Marie Griffith

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:5-6 (NIV)

I don’t make the most of every opportunity. In fact I believe opportunities fly past me as I rush from place to place.

Jesus made the most of every opportunity. He noticed.

Everything.

Jesus would never avoid going down the cereal aisle when he saw your daughter’s friend’s mom coming from the other end.

Instead, Jesus would smile at her as he walked toward her. He would ask her how she was doing. Then Jesus would listen as he looked into her eyes. And he would be genuinely interested in what she was saying. Your daughter’s friend’s mom would leave knowing that she mattered. She would be so uplifted by that short but real conversation that she would go home and do the same for her family.

Then maybe her husband would do the same for his hurting co-worker the next day. And her teen aged daughter might reach out to a lonely classmate.

One conversation with Jesus can change everything.

What if I do the same? What if I take the time to notice? What would happen if I slowed down enough to see those around me. Not just see, but notice. Speak. Listen. Love.

It starts there. With the opportunities. At home. In the grocery store. At the salon. In your neighbor’s yard. At work or church.

imageBe salty. Not in the bitter, aggressive, sassy kind of way.

But in the way that brings out the best in others…..”seasoned with salt” as the verse says.

Someone needs you to see them.

Someone needs you to smile and say hello.

Someone needs you to listen.

Be salty and live like it matters.