51

Mama

| Marie Griffith

Mom’s wait was over one year ago today. Her last breath left her while all of us were gathered around her at home, holding her hands, telling her we love her, crying because we knew we’d miss her, but rejoicing that her fight for breath was finished.

One of my favorite memories of Mom is when I was a teenager living in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She, my younger sister and I were at Eastgate Mall and she wanted to eat a sandwich at Glen Gene’s deli.  We sat down to eat our sandwiches and we talked and laughed. She listened mostly. I don’t remember the words said or what I was wearing or the taste of the sandwich. I remember the deli wasn’t crowded. I remember her happy and smiling and there. And I remember the song that played while sitting in those yellow seats at Glen Gene’s deli that day.  The song was, “True” by Spandau Ballet.

So true
Funny how it seems
Always in time, but never in line for dreams
Head over heels when toe to toe
This is the sound of my soul
This is the sound 

“Always in time, but never in line for dreams…..”  Mom didn’t speak of the dreams she had for her life. She didn’t talk about how she thought her life would turn out. I wonder if it was what she thought or hoped it would be.

She loved Daddy and her quartet of daughters. She loved her home and the town she lived in. She was a woman of courage and she didn’t give up. She stayed in a hard marriage that turned into 51 years.

Mom was a hard worker and taught us to do the same. Anyone who ever tasted her cooking praised her work in the kitchen. She was a list-maker to the very end and funny, too. She had us laughing even in the last days.

She loved reminiscing and in the last year of her life she shared treasured memories with us as often as we would sit and listen.

She commented on one of my posts called “51” about a year before she left us and several months before Daddy passed.

Marie,

Thank you for the beautiful words you put together for Wayne and I. I do believe our four beautiful and wonderful daughters had so very much to do with us making the marriage work. Not only our girls, but our friends and families that were praying for us through all the difficult times. Ultimately, it was God and his love that got us through the rough times. Also, I knew Wayne was a godly person and did not want the life we were living with the drinking problem. I knew that one day he would ask God to remove the desire for drinking away from his mind, body and heart. God answered that prayer and today we continue trusing in God and his promises. Thanks to our four daughters for what they have given to us, their love and trust and our ten grandchildren.

Love,

Mom

Each time she spoke of her life she was thankful.

To God…..for us…..for Daddy….for her other family…… and her wonderful friends.  She was thankful for everything. She praised God.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.      Psalm 150:6 

I think she was in line for dreams and hers came true.

51

| Marie Griffith

January 26, 1963 Wayne Griffin and Jan Sharrott were married in a small Methodist church in Huntsville, Alabama with only two of their closest friends watching. The next few years were difficult. They had two daughters and money was tight. Wayne worked for Willo Products in Decatur and opened the Neighborhood Shell Gas & Grocery in Hartselle.

They lived with Wayne’s mom. Their small bedroom was cramped with their bed and two baby beds. Without air conditioning, the room seemed smaller in the summertime. Winters were easier because the pot-bellied stove heated the house well. By 1972 they had four daughters and that same year they bought the place where Wayne and his brother grew up.

img_4964Fifty one years is an accomplishment in any marriage, but my sisters and I know just how remarkable this one is because we witnessed and lived through it. They endured the normal hardships that come with raising a family. Financial crises, job changes and losses, failed businesses, health problems, and four girls. With one bathroom!

The most difficult challenge had to be dad’s alcoholism. That made all the other struggles even harder. Thousands and thousands of tears fell. Mama cried because she felt alone and angry and worried. Daddy cried because he didn’t know how to beat the addiction that was hurting his family and ruining his life. We cried because we were scared when Mama and Daddy fought.

But there was plenty of laughter, too. Fish fries and family gatherings. Saturday morning yard work and Saturday evening grill-outs. Trips to the beach and Christmas. The best memories fill my heart.

I’ve wondered how they did it – how they were able to stay together when so much seemed against them. They can’t give me an easy answer.

After 20 plus years in my own marriage I’m still learning how to do marriage. It’s hard. I’ve wanted to leave. I’ve wanted him to leave. Recently. Last week.

My parents’ marriage has eternal significance, a lasting legacy. I have the courage to stay and fight for my own marriage because of their 51 years.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.                               1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (MSG)

They wanted to give up sometimes. They didn’t do their marriage perfectly.

They just did it. They endured…..they persevered. They forgave and they stayed. They hoped for better days. They kept going and they will go to the end.

In my marriage…..I will take it one day at a time. Committed. Dedicated. Keeping my vows. Choosing to love and stay. Trusting God, not looking back and looking for the best.

I’m forever grateful they kept the vows spoken in that small church in Huntsville in 1963.

Thank you Mama and Daddy. I love you.