I found a letter in between the pages of one of my Bibles. I keep it as a reminder of where we were.
It’s a love letter. Not the mushy kind inspired by infatuation. No, the only similarity to a middle school love note is the notebook paper on which it’s written. This love letter is not the kind filled with dreamy visions of the future. It’s not loaded with good intentions or empty promises. No fancy words were used, no love songs quoted. This love letter was a simple expression of his feelings for me. And a surprise one, too, because it had been at least ten years since the last one.
Hard times caused him to write it. We were struggling. Not connecting, not agreeing, whatever the reason, hard times came. We weren’t doing so well with them. We lost it with each other. We said things we meant at the moment but wish we hadn’t. Things like, “I can’t do this anymore” or “do what you have to do.” Words that made us wonder if we even knew each other at all. The kind of words that hurt deep down. Then the silence would come and sometimes more anger. Most of the time the silence brought revelation, understanding, conviction. It definitely brought regret. I came face to face with my foolishness, my pride, and that brought its own kind of pain.
He chose to break the silence with a love letter. I remember the moment clearly. He didn’t say a word when he handed me the folded piece of paper. He left me alone to read. I won’t share his words, those are mine. But I know they were written in a moment of pure love, the kind you feel so intensely that you think your heart will burst. The kind we express when we love our best.
We are still learning to love well.
I have a long way to go. But I’m on the edge of becoming someone better, someone more free to love the way I’m supposed to. God is transforming me with His perfect love and I’m still learning.
This learning process seems painfully slow at times. But I’m not defeated when I mess up.
John Piper writes in his book When I Don’t Desire God, “To be sure, our all-too-slow growth in Christ-likeness matters. It is the necessary evidence that our faith is real. But, oh what a difference it makes to be assured, in the discouraging darkness of our own imperfections, that we have a perfect righteousness – namely Christ’s”
“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own”.
Philippians 3:12 NLT
So I cherish this letter and all the other perfect moments we share.