A post I read yesterday reminded me of how much time I used to spend thinking about what could have been. In fact, I was a bit jealous when she talked of her carefree time in Europe. I always wanted to travel. But that dream was set aside because of the responsibilities of caring for my family, jobs, bills, and then caring for my parents.
I’ve spent way too much time daydreaming of things I could have done, places I could have seen or people I could have met. What if I had taken that trip across the country, what if I hadn’t taken a break from my career, where would I be, what would I be doing…….on and on with more what ifs – major ones – that I won’t mention here. While driving to work one morning, thinking again of what could have been, I realized it was stealing the joy of what is. My “what is” is a beautiful thing. It’s not perfect -it’s messy and painful and glorious all at the same time. But it’s mine.
And this is what came from all of my wishing and thinking and realizing. Parts of the idea rolled around in my head for weeks until it finally came together and said exactly what I meant for it to say.
Thanks to http://onegirlsjourneytofreedom.wordpress.com/ for sharing her thoughts that inspired this re-blog of the quote from earlier this year.
More painful than “what could have been” is what could have been if I’d not wasted my time wondering what could have been.