I hoped my vacation would make me ready for the new season in my life. This season of hospitals, doctors, Hospice, and medical jargon. When conversations with my sisters are, “any update?” or “who’s staying tonight”? A season of hard decisions, passionate prayers, and letting go. When we have to remember to fill the oxygen tanks and learn what to do if the power goes out. A time of taking care of those who have always taken care of us. A season of sadness and hoping and exhaustion.

I began writing this three weeks ago. Ready to do what was needed to make it all work and be there for everyone I needed to be there for. I had planned to finish the post while sitting with Daddy in the hospital. Instead of writing, I prayed, held Dad’s hand, cried with my sisters, prayed, and prayed some more. Twelve hours after he made the decision to go home, he went home.

Can you be ready for that?  Can you be ready for a death or tragedy, a terminal diagnosis, or betrayal?  I can’t – not on my own.  I can seek God even more, cry when I need to, be real with those closest to me, and let them know when I need some prayer and encouragement.  I will continue to become all that God has called me to be and let Him use my experiences and pain to help others.

God gives me strength and peace.

God made me ready.

He is making me ready.

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life.

Ephesians 6:13-18 (MSG)